Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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