just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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