you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
