they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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