Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
