Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
