One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
