I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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