How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
