did you get engaged???
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You are the jesus of drinking
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
