Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
love makes seman taste better
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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