A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
