so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
