WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
