I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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