I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
