is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
