hotel room ftw
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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