so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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