fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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