like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
