Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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