Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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