is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
