Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
