dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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