We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
