420 ftw
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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