No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
