Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
pray to the hookup gods
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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