38 yer olds are good kisserssss
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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