her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize