So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
