ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
