Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
