Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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