Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
