Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
