I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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