hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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