Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
