Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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