i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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