yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
