i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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