I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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