found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
