All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
