i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
