Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
